lacus_86 @ 2010-11-25T17: 37:00
Just this morning, I have stopped to watch, playing with soap bubbles. It 'a long time since I saw them, I think I was a child, I brought to mind happy memories, fairs, she was beautiful and fun to go there when there was the pleasure, child, to look at all the toys on the stands and ask mom and dad "I bought the soap bubbles?". And the wonder of blowing in the middle of the soap and see the magic of many bubbles, shiny, reflecting the colors of the party, the carefree happiness of times where your only thought is to play, and play, and play ... then come down and it all ends, burst with a twitch, but the magic still continues, and just blow you dive back into that world of wonder and amazement that gives you the feeling of living a beautiful dream.
Then you wake up, grow up, you are an adult, you have responsibilities, commitments, claiming the life you and puts you in the face of evidence after another, everything becomes monotonous, life gives you more than that dream, magic vanishes. Until one day you discover that the magic is still there, those bubbles are always the same, they live a few seconds, but they give you another dream, that feeling of awe and wonder he wakes up and makes you see with new eyes enchanted the world, including when is black, even when that feeling of feeling like a total failure invades you, shakes you, makes you tremble violently, wanting it to end as soon as possible, not be more wrong and you close again, in your shell of selfishness, want to protect yourself, you want everything to end, but at the same time to wake up like it was a bad dream, and then you wake up and realize that it is not a bad dream ;. I often wonder how far we can push the desire to save something, even if you know it'll be at the expense of something else. I do not know, I do not know where we can get, yet at the same time attempting to show aware that the price may be high, but if it is for someone you really love, then 're willing to run, although sooner or later has the same account, tumble after tumble. A saying goes "It hurts more than the language of the sword", is true, but at the same time the silence hurts, but sometimes it's the only way you can express something, eloquent than words . Words can hurt, can hurt, they can destroy, are equivocal, create misunderstandings, the obvious silence, the silence helps you to reflect, to think, to protect against situations that can hurt. The gestures injured, one hand can caress and may slapped, turn your back can make you understand that you have committed a wrong, yet they often do so without realizing it. It makes me smile to think that a few years ago, determined to make it clear to a guy that I liked my feelings, I wrote a dedication on a book to borrow, foolishly, unable to directly address the situation for fear of rejection. Robyn looked at me, advised me to cancel that sentence, and I did not, because they are obstinate and stubborn, and that was the only way that I had to let you know how I felt at that guy. It 'stupid now, that was the most convenient way, the less work that I would suffer less if he had refused ... Roby I turned away, ignored me, I spoke for two days, the silence made me feel bad, I did not understand why he continued to do so. Then I said "I have physically turned his back so you could understand why you were wrong, but never mind because whenever you're my best friend "... Moral of the story: the boy was heard, but just wanted to have fun and disappeared like a soap bubble, but that gesture made me realize that I was wrong and wanted to warn me to avoid disappointment. Also quarreled, but then everything was resolved. I also broke this, thinking that being silent, I would understand a former friend that his attitude and his way of being were wrong, and sooner or later they would be alone. I tried and tried to talk to me, but I was determined at that time, I felt that this was the proper way to make him understand. Breaking, since we do not speak anymore. Whether right or wrong, potentially everything can hurt, it's up to us whether or not it is worth taking a risk of confrontation taken to the extreme. I go back to the magic of soap bubbles, at this moment, to immerse myself in that magical world helps me not think about the evil I have done and the fight that I have undertaken, but the bubbles have a short life .. and when everything is over you go back to thinking, pounding, that at any time comeback to bite and make you feel bad ... and the desire to go back becomes stronger, but it is not possible. I wish I had more courage, more strength of mind, but at the moment, the only thing that remains in the hand is shaking while I write, and in a great void.
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